Meeting with Shaynor

This is a voice to text entry. 

Had coffee with Shaynor today?.  He asked me about the divorce.  The question that stands out the most is what did it feel like?  He asked if it felt like betrayal?  I didn't have a good answer.  But I did say was that I felt like my marriage was the one thing I could count on, that would always be there.  That losing that thing that I could count on was one of the most difficult things.  And as I think about that now, that's again about me and not about Susie, I don't know if losing Susie caused the sadness.  Maybe because our relationship was so tenuous The freedom from that stress I'm feeling her disappointment in me have been pushing me away from her for some time.  The sadness was about losing a life that I had spent so much effort on creating.  
One of the kind things that he said is that I don't owe the church anything.  He said that he didn't know how to step in and take action when he came so he didn't do anything, but he said that it was something he struggled with and considered to know how to intervene if at all.  I just told him that I appreciated that.
Yes what I've been doing to deal with the divorce. I told him my remind myself that there are people in my life who I can go to like Mark and Pete.  But also that journaling has been helpful.  So I thought I would journal tonight.  

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