November 2, 2024. 23rd Anniversary
There are children, but there is no marriage. Susie didn't bring up our anniversary with me once. I didn't bring it up with her. I bought flowers. And a sign that says Grateful. I am grateful. But I'm mostly sad. Tomorrow is a sad day for me. My plan is to get out of the house early and stay away from the house for a long time. Which I will. Being rejected by Susie is painful. But I think being rejected by Simon and Esther would be utterly devastating. If I move to another house I wonder if they would ever want to see me. Maybe they wouldn't. But maybe I have to be OK with that in order for me to move on and have a full life again. I don't right now. I have a life. But my life is lacking. I have a full life, most of the time, but there is darkness and loneliness at the fringes. Loneliness that drags me down. I try to fight it but I d...