letter to Susie

Judy recommended a letter to Susie and a letter to myself. I'll start with the letter to Susie. 

Dear Susie,
23+ years of marriage.  
We have changed. 
We have grown.
We have been wounded.
We are healing from those wounds.

We have a lot of life ahead of us, but all our adult lives has been intertwined.  
I think of the song from wicked, I have been changed for good.  I know I have been changed for good from knowing you.  It would make my heart glad to know you feel the same about me, but if not I will be ok with that too.  
I'm sorry for wounding you.  Right now it's hard for me to say that and really mean that I'm sorry, because I hurt.  But I hope I can heal and you can be comforted by me saying with all my heart that I am sorry.  
And I hope you can say sorry to me because I have been wounded by you too.  
I think about the life that we could have had, the life that together we will never have, and while I feel like I missed out on something amazing, I do feel we did some amazing things in our 23+ years together, and because of that I have some comfort.  
It's still raw right now, but writing this letter to you helps me reflect on the beauty that our marriage brought about in my life, and in the lives of others.  
I wish you the best of luck in, what I think of, as your new life.  My greatest home for our relationship is that we can celebrate the successes of the kids, and be there united to support them when their struggles come, as they inevitably will struggle at some time.  
I don't know what kind of friendship will may have in the future, but I do hope we can call each other a friend.
Your friend, 
Kyle

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Birthdays aren't all that great these days either

 Man, what a depressed selfish boy I sound like.   I'm feeling all this self pity on my birthday.   I think what really set me off was Susie getting upset with me because Esther wasn't ready as early as she wanted.  It felt like intentional messing up my birthday.  That really frustrated me.   I have some important people to me in my life, and their birthday wishes meant a lot, but I still feel alone.  I still feel like I'm on my own.   Last year the Superbowl was on my birthday and it was one of my very best birthdays.  This year I had to teach on the day after my birthday and I was one of the worst I can remember.   This week especially sucks because Valentines Day is coming too.  That really sucks because it used to be such a special, fun time for me, and I thought it was for Susie too.  But maybe I was fooling myself all the while.  It's hard to believe that is that case, but I think it's true....
Read more

Jr. High Bullying

 In the 8th grade I was bullied by Cory.  I can't remember the kids last name.  I would stand there at my locker and he would shove my back and I would bump into my locker.   It seems like the first time he did it it was an act of endurement.  Like playing around with one of your buddies.  But after a few times it got old.  He would look back at me with his hair flip in his blonde hair, seemingly to make sure that I knew it was him that pushed me.  It went from enduring, to annoying, to bullying, to daily trauma.  I set up a punching bag in my basement.  I found some martial arts magazines and started to practice some moves.  I grew a fear of confronting him.   I tried to just hope away the problem but it wouldn't go away.  I grew more and more weary of him doing this to me and I tried to come up with a scheme to get him to stop doing it.  Often there was an administrator at the end of the hallway watching o...
Read more

Trip to Gerald - May 26 to June 3, 2021

Wed, May 26         heyooooooooooo Abq to Tucumcari 2:40, 186 mi to Amarillo 1:41, 113 mi to Sayre 1:57, 132 mi to OKC 1:54, 129 mi to McD 2:25, 167 mi to Spfd 2:05, 132 mi to Gerald 2:34 163 arrived! We left at 6:03 am, almost on time. Elijah wanted to make oatmeal before leaving. The driving was very smooth and easy. Elijah commented about the time going by quickly. And it did. Compared to the trip in Nov. 2020, the van made much better time. We averaged about 80, the scion averaged about 70! Elijah and I listened to Rachel Held Evans. He was diggin' it. It gave him a story to relate to. Though I don't think it strengthened his Christian faith. But, overall I think it was good thing for him to hear. We talked less than I would have liked, but we did talk some. I was able to speak to him about the value of putting yourself in a position to make money if there comes a time that you need or want to. That he should pursue writing, but that this is a good ti...
Read more