Regrets and Dissatisfaction

 Tonight I'm not in a good mental place.  

I think it started when I saw Susie walk into the living room with her karate uniform on.  I started thinking about her rolling around with all these men at class.  Thinking how she is enjoying that and I'm here to deal with the family stuff when I want to relax and enjoy my Friday night after a long week of teaching.  

Then I think about the Fletchers and how they have all this money to go out to fancy restaurants and take trips with their whole family to D.C. and NYC.  And Susie says I guess Brian makes a ton of money.  

And then Simon complains about not wanting to go skiing when I feel like he could just stay home but Susie wants him to go so I muster up the energy to support her with not acknowledgement of my supporting her.  And how I didn't speak my mind about the topic.  

And I would like to go to that LBJ girls basketball championship game tomorrow.  

And it just puts me in a sucky, sucky place.  

And I see Adam Winn on the TV saying how amazing his job is and how he gets to do all this amazing stuff AND he gets his summers off.  That may have been the real kicker.  He enjoys his job and he gets his summmers off.  I dread my job, and I get my summers off.  

And it just puts me in a sucky place.  And I read my little EHS books and it is inspiring.  But at the same time I want to call up a friend, maybe Carl, and say, I love the church and I find following Jesus to be helpful, but I don't honestly beleive this life after death stuff.  I mean, do you really beleive that stuff?

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