On the Beach for My Honeymoon

 It was our honeymoon and we had a week to kill.  We were given a sales pitch about doing a variety of activities, which we did 1 during the whole week.  Cave diving.  

We had a pass to one fancy steak dinner.  Which turned out to be absolutely delicious.  

I ate myself into a terrible stomach ache and gross trips to the bathroom.  The food was too good to resist.  

We were both amazed my the Michael Jackson impersonator.  We were actually wondering if it was really him.  It wasn't.  

We took out the catamaran.  After a too short instruction and a terrifying instruction about not going into the shallow rocks it was way more nerve racking than fun.  It turns out that if I would have had the courage to learn how to do it it would have been an absolute highlight of the trip.  But I was too scared to break that damn boat.  

So, I sat in a lawn chair next to my new wife trying to read my History of Christianity textbook, bored and frustrated that we were here wasting my honeymoon with this expensive honeymoon that we couldn't afford and weren't really enjoying that much.  Sitting in that chair with my t-shirt on and sweating from the sun creeping through the palm trees.  

And I kept wondering how this turned out to be a lot different than what I have pictured for what should have been one of the most amazing weeks of my life.  Instead I was bored and hot reading a book I wasn't enjoying.  And I didn't know how to enjoy this time with my new wife.  I was boring her.  Or she was boring me.  Or I just didn't know how to enjoy myself.  Or to allow myself to enjoy the moment.  It wasn't that it was a let down but I was disappointed that I didn't know how to enjoy the paradise that I was surrounded by. 

I did discover snorkeling.  I did enjoy some amazing food.  I remember our trip to Cozumel island on a boat riding waves that were higher than the boat but being ok with it because no one else was freaking out about it like I was on the inside.  

I don't remember the sex we had that week after our honeymoon night.  I just remember being interrupted when we got to our room.  And I remember having so much desire on the plane ride but not being able to be with Susie.  

The week wasn't perfect, but there were some great things about it.  I have to be ok with the reality that it wasn't all as perfect as I hoped that it was going to be.  Being disappointed and bored is part of our human experience.  That it is not all enjoyable is ok.  

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