Meeting with Rick and Vicki with Susie, Thursday, July 27, 2023

 What are the deepest desires for our relationship?  To be seen, soothed, safe, and secure. 

Rick asked are we will to do what it takes to make it work?

Give it our all

When feeling rejected by Susie I need to rely on Christ's acceptance of me, not Susie's approval

Susie:  desires some who celebrates her, is attuned to her

She doesn't want our relationship or another relationship, she has friendships where they understand her and the effort required in our relationship is not worth the benefits that it would provide because they wouldn't be at the level that her friends can already provide for her

She feels that we are on two different trains.  

To make changes Susie can,

"come out of her bunker."

"I've been doing the work."

To get to the place where she can share things with me, "maybe she can get there one day."

Is she willing?

It feels hopeless because of all the pain and void between us in years past.

Use the practice of paraphrasing back when I listen to her

The need is to build a friendship

Susie, "It doesn't sound like something fun to do."

Rick suggested we spend 5 minutes a day sharing about our day

Keeping the house together is beneficial for the kids, but building a friendship is beneficial. ,Share some detail through text each day.  

Share weekly for 5 minutes

Powerlifting competition: Deadlift, squad, bench

Tell anna and Simon that we are working on our friendship and that we are taking specific steps to resolve that

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