Lunch with Anna, Sunday, Dec. 18, 2022

 So, winter break is nearly here.  Just two more days of school.  

Anna and I went to Panera Bread Co. for lunch today.  A bit on the pricey side, but the talk was good.  She really knows how to spend the money though.  Her meal and drink was like $17.  Anyways.  

I said that we need to find a solution to the dirty bathroom.  I said it stresses out Simon when the bathroom is messy in the morning.  We decided that Simon needs to tell Anna what is dirty and she will work on it.  With break coming my hope is that it isn't quite so bad.  I told her that I have a hard time keeping things straight.  It's like a low priority or something.  But it's also a sign of stress, emotional issues going on.  I also said it has to do with personality.  Cleaning up things is just less of a priority.  We also decided to spend some time helping each other clean up our spaces.  The other set of eyes should help us get organized and stay less overwhelmed.  Help us think through how to approach the organization of our stuff.  She is going to clean her room on Friday.  I hope to get her help cleaning the garage on Friday.  

I told her that dealing with Simon is hard because he is highly emotional like Simon and gets worked up.  We agreed that Anna shuts down and that is also unhealthy.  She said that she thinks this is part of her having ADHD and that is a normal way that girls with ADHD react.  

Then we talked about coming home at night.  She said she didn't see the bottom of my text to wake me up when she came home.  I said that mom saw her on her phone late but then she brought her phone down at 12:15.  

She said she didn't realize she could turn her location off and on.  She said that it always stays on and she doesn't know how the location got turned off.

She asked what the plan is with mom and me.  I said there's no plan.  She said it's toxic and she doesn't like being at home.  She said us getting a divorce would be better than how it is now.  She said that's what her English teacher's parents did once she finished high school and she wishes they would have separated sooner.  

She said her friend group is great and she spends so much time with them so she doesn't have to be in the house.  I said that she needs to keep building the trust and following through on expectations so that she can continue spending time with them.  If she does that for us, we can let her hang out with them.  

... Later that day I told Simon that he should tell Anna if she leaves the bathroom messy.  He said the plan is bad and that I should take her phone if it is messy.  I said that I'm not going to do that.  He said I'm too easy on her and that I need to be more strict and not be afraid of her getting mad at me.  I told him that's not how she is going to change.  

Later in the evening he did tell her to clean up her stuff.  She responded mean to his request because she said he was mean to her.  However, she did clean up her stuff.

I set a daily reminder on my phone to see if the bathroom is cleaned up.