Sophomore Basketball Story

 Coming out of my sophomore year and heading into my junior year was time because my girlfriend had broken up with me but the football season was on the horizon I knew that if I could excel in football that the pain of getting dumped by my girlfriend and the emotional and sexual frustration that I was feeling around that would be okay football season was going fine but then my shoulder injury happened and it ended up ending my football career The trauma around the injury isn't what really messed me up isn't what was really what was hard it was the events leading up to and then proceeding the injury made it difficult I started out my sophomore year on the bench for the basketball team and by the end of the season I was a starter on a team date maybe lost one or two games all season It was great to stand there on our home court toward the end of the game during free throws knowing that another victory would be coming as the seconds ticked off the clock that was a great feeling That's spring after basketball season ended my buddies talked me into playing one more season of football and I relented because I wanted to be with my friends instead of focusing on my basketball skills comparing for the next season varsity football would be a huge commitment and I wanted to be successful so I poured myself into getting ready for football season and put basketball on the back burner while I was in good shape and good position to be the first string tight end Midway through the season because the first train player who was a senior got an ankle injury and that would have been my spot to take over for him but the week before I injured my shoulder and I would lose out on that opportunity and when basketball season rolled around I wasn't ready for it because of my injury so I saw my basketball career slowly fading away I decided to pour myself into the church used crew, youth group is certainly a blessing but there was something about the intensity the high expectations the satisfaction the level of commitment to football and basketball that gave me a sense of accomplishment, a sense of being noticed, a sense of being competent, a sense of having something unique to offer that others admired. And I just didn't get that from youth group or church so that's the little bit of trauma after the trauma because the message from church was that nothing else can satisfy like God which I understand better now than I did then but at the time that message conflicted with how I was feeling, I felt inadequate I felt like I had failed myself I felt like I didn't really have that much to offer anymore I felt less alive and missing out on something that was significant

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