Dinner with Rick and Vicky

 They asked us our story.  They noticed that communication in our marriage is a weakness.

They asked us if we want to continue to meet to work on our marriage.  I said it is hard to have hope.  I said that I'm feel awful.  I said I want to be loved and that even when I didn't want to be married to Susie I kept going on with our relationship.  

She said that because we are in a covenent relationship she will continue to meet.  Out of obligation and with reluctance.  

I said that I can't see things changing right away.  That maybe in 4 or 5 years we will be realy to work on our relationship.  Rick said that it can't work that was.  That we have to work on it now.  I said that makes sense due to the situation with the TV that occured after the Arizona trip.  

Rick said imagine looking down into a house where two people are sitting alone, and lonely.  They have everything they need to be together and not alone.  And picture God looking down at the two, realizing how they have what they need to comfort each other, and the sadness God would feel looking at the two and what they are missing out on when that is completely unnessesary.  

Vicky asked us to pray for God to change our hearts.  I said I'm not sure how to pray.  I think I said something about how I need to have an anchor and not have Susie's reactions to me affect me.  Rick said to imagine two people looking to each other to fill their need for love.  They are looking for love from the other but they are not thinking about how to give love to the other because they both want to be on the receiving end of love.  It doesn't work that way.  He have to receive God's love so we can love the other.  

Susie said that through working with Scott she realized that she was never noticed until she gave of herself to them.  She said she has a lot of resentment toward her family and toward me because of this.  

The plan is to take a relationship assessment at some point.  First Susie and I have to meet with Vicky and Rick individually and tell them if we want to commit to working on our relationship.  

Rick told the story of the military guy we was working with on his marriage.  He said that the guys was saying how hard the marriage was.  His friends were telling him that since it is hard he should get out of the relationship.  But when the guy realized this about his relationship his perspective change.  It was because the relationship was hard that was worth fighting for... something like that.  

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