Challenges with Simon and Anna

 I want to make a connection with Simon when talking to him but once he senses he's not getting his way he gets offended and I get mad.

I want to make a connection with Anna when talking to her but once I try to exlain myself she gets offended and she shuts down and I am not able to reach her.  

I want to make a connection with Susie when talking to her but we're always talking about an issue to address so we aren't able to talk about anything personal.  If we do I get hurt or try to get my way and then she gets frustrated and talks too fast and loud and intense.  

I have a lot to learn about communication.  It is about connection with I am very bad at because I do not want to reveal my emotions to others.  Why?  I don't know.  

However, I talked with Simon today and got mad and cussed twice in front of him and Esther.  It was a low moment for sure.  I gave an apology but I'm not sure it fully reached him.  Maybe I can try again tomorrow.  

Susie and I want to talk to Anna about the electronics situation but it is not going to go well.  I think Anna is singularly focused on getting what she wants and a conversation not involving that is not going to go well.  

The book asked me to think of a time with my parents when I received unconnected communication.  

What came to mind was my feelings about the move to St. Louis.  I think I communicated that I didn't want to but I don't remember my dad ever talking to me about it.  I remember it being hard on mom to see us off to Selvidge that first day, but I don't remember a conversation about it.  I think I was probably mad about it and wouldn't talk.  That's a guess.  That first day was tough though.  Walking up those bleachers no knowing another soul except my sister.  I felt like the only one who felt alone.  How many others must have felt just the way I did.  That was one brave kid to have to bare the weight of that moment when all I wanted to do was cry and have someone with me.  To face that all alone was some tough challenge.  To make it through those 5 or 10 minutes took some guts.  

But, as far as communication, I need to reflect a bit more on how I was or wasn't communicated with.  

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