Teaching sucks this time of year

 This year I am really dragging to the end.  I thought I would be motivated to get to the end because I like the project that they are working on, but it's not.  It's a real drag.  The thing is that they seem to be shutting down.  Like there is no more work to do.  It is hard to figure out what it is.  They are doing iReady and so it may just be that all this testing has dragged them down and made their brain/bodies shut down.  I am finding it hard to have the energy to keep going too.  

I have agreed to do handyman work for the next two Saturdays and that is stressing me out a little bit.  It is taking away my time on the weekends to prep for the coming week.  What makes it hard is that I am committed to doing no school work on Sunday.  This has been really nice, but it has also made me cram all my work into the other 6 days and with track and table tennis, plus the repair man work it is feeling pretty overwhelming.  

On top of that I'm lonely.  I am tired of getting home and giving all my attention to Esther.  And getting no attention from my other family... that is not really true, but I do miss the affection I once got from Susie.  I really do.  I don't allow myself to think about what was or what we should have going on now.  It's too painful, and not productive.  So, i'll sit in my emptiness until things can slow down.  I'm almost 50 though and I'm afraid this is all there is and all there will be.  It's all kinda overwhelming and a bit depressing.  But maybe things will slow down and I'll have the energy to build up the courage to say something meaningful to Susie.  

Or maybe it would be easier to just quit.  I honestly don't know.  

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