Conversation with Susie after work

 I got home and Susie had dinner made.  I was tired and wanted to sit down.  

Susie was sharing about various things with me about what she did, where she went, what she took take of.  It was a lot to listen to.  It really took some focus.  I was focused, for the most part.  I tried at least.  But I missed a couple parts.  I mean my attention drifted on a few things she was saying.  I wanted to listen so bad but I just couldn't keep the focus.  I was distracted because I wanted a drink of water.  I was distracted because I needed a fork.  I could tell my mind was wondering because I was paying attention to that stuff and not so much on what she was saying.  

As I was eating I remember that she said something about buying flowers.  I couldn't remember the details so I asked her about it.  She said to not worry about it.  That it wasn't important.  But I was listening I just was slow to process all of this.  It was a lot to take in.  Or was it that I was distracted.  Or maybe I wasn't that interested in what she was saying and I didn't care that much.  Or was I trying to hard to give the impression that I was listening so my focused was on trying to respond to her instead of trying to listen and process what she was saying.  Or am I that slow to process that I can't take in all the information.  Or is it  a combination of all of it.  I don't know.  

Later that evening we were at Anna's play and Susie and Esther were leaving.  I said goodbye and gave Susie a pat on the arm.  I was not thinking about the distance we have been having.  It was just a natural response.  I don't know if she thought anything of it.  I didn't notice it until a few moments later when I was walking out by myself.  It was just a natural show of affection in a friendly way.  Something I would have done with lots of people, but this time I noticed it.  Not sure what it means, but it was kinda nice to have that physical contact with her.  

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