What my fantasies inform me about

A thought from college keeps coming back to me from the night I went to the dance club in Springfield.  The girl I danced with with the big boobs asked me to come home with her and her friends.  I didn't know how to get home and maybe I was afraid of what might happen, but I didn't go.  

The thought of what that night might have been like if I did go with her has been popping into my head recently.  

I don't picture what the sex would have been like so much.  It's that feeling of excitement and specifically sexual excitement that I desire and long for.  What that one decision, or reaction really, made me miss out on and how that may have set my life on a course of, frankly, missing out on sexual desire that I have had for so long.  

There is much sexual desire for many experiences throughout my formative years.  The longing to relive these experiences point to missing out on the experiences that I have missed out on.  

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