Visit with Steve and family

 Steve's family and Ruth and Allen came over today for pizza and to spend time together.  They mostly hung in the back yard with me and Ruth and Allen.  Susie, Anna, and Elijah stayed in the kitchen.  It was awkward.  It feels as though Susie does this to seek out attention but I don't really think this is the reason she does it.  Though I don't understand exactly when she avoided Steve so much today.  Maybe when we talk more I will understand it more.

Steve asked me the day before if he did anything to Susie and I said no.  I told Susie this and she said I was lying to Steve.  I meant that Steve hadn't done anything new or recently so maybe it was only half true.  Susie didn't get too upset over it but I'm sure it was not a positive for me building her trust in me.  ]

The break has been fine but that is because I'm not having a lot of hope in our relationship.  It is pleasant enough but the level of desire is low.  The level of interaction and talking between her and me is low.  I'm just enjoying doing my own thing, and she's doing her own thing.  I'm helping out as much as I can with family stuff so I think that is a sign to her that I am not ignoring her needs.  I haven't been to attuned to her needs or anyones needs beyond what is obvious so I need to keep working on that area.   But I'm just enjoying the individual time, doing projects, working on my puzzle, listening to my podcast.  It's so nice to not have many cares from day to day.  

Susie met with Scott today.  It was a tough session for her.  Previously she said we could meet together with Scott after today's meeting but I'm not sure that's still the case after having a tough meeting with him today.  I'll just let her soak in the meeting for a few days and see if she brings up the next move as far as marriage counseling with Scott.  

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