5th meeting with Scott (November 30)

Learn how to be independent from her, not dependent on her. 

When I see a ray of light I lock in on it, but can become a man of sorrow when hope is dashed. 

It's hard to hold desire without a demand (or becoming numb to my feelings)

Lament is present in my story over the past 10 years.  

Lament is anger.  

Healthy lament is healthy anger.  

Bible stories that address lament at God.  

Psalm 44
The disciples lament toward Jesus during the storm and Jesus is sleeping. 
Job
Sodom and Gamora - Abraham laments the destruction and God changes his mind and allows the people to escape.  

These stories lament the seemingly unfairness of God.  
Acknowledge the unfairness.

Truity has given me insight about being in relationship with a 2 enneagram.  
Read about the ways 2s and 5s relate.  They are double opposites.  They repel each other.  

The challenge of 2s is Pride.  

My repentence is to over communicate my body language to Susie.  

"This is a decade in the making."

What Scott does for Katie is acknowledge the little ways he is hurt.  
(He ordered the cable service when he was upset about the internet.  She was trying to fix it at night and he went in the other room to lay down.  He acknowledged that she wanted to fix the problem now but that hurt him, but he did not want his hurt to stop her from fixing it.)

He gives her permission to hurt him, but not to harm him.

I can say to Susie, "I'm OK.  I don't want you to stop.  I'm OK to be hurting."

My sorroy/my desire

I should feel free to stir the pot - she needs to know that I can be stirred but she doesn't need to be dysregulated.  

"Free her from the rulebook."  She doesn't need to regulate me.???

There is an unhealthy enmeshment in our relationship.  

A color of Christmas is purple.  A dark purple.  It can symbolize the lament of the season.  

Blessed are the meek.  I can bless others, I can liberate others through my grief.  

Did I notice how grief was soothed by God.  I'm feeling God's feelings after Him.  

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