4th Meeting with Scott - November 2nd

 Met with Scott this morning.  It may be the final time I meet with him for a while.  He checked in with me and I shared that our 20th anniversary was on my mind.  He asked what is my desire or expectations for the anniversary.  I shared that I want to be able to talk with Susie.  That she is being cold toward me and there is a distain that I sense from her toward me.  I also shared that I hope we would have a physical relationship.  That I have not been sexual for a couple of months and I would like for that to be part of our relationship once again.  

Here are my notes from the conversation:

Does he recommend we meet as a couple?  Yes.  He wants to meet with Susie another time then after that would be a good time to meet.  

Anniversary is tomorrow. 

He said we need each each other.  Even adults need attachments.  

You do need to have someone to be close to.

THREE THINGS WE ALL NEED:

Availablility:  Is their ear there?  Analogy:  Is he getting the 'ring'?  If not she/he will go into primal panic.

Scott believes that both Susie and I are avoidantly attached.  Meaning when things get stressful we get away from each other.

Responsive: Am I getting the text, or do I dismiss the text?  I feel like I often miss the texts, Scott says to have a kind curiosity towards myself as I think about why this is.  That I need to deal with the "impact over the intentionality".  Meaning you do have to first deal with the impact of the actions, then you need to deal with the intentions of the action.  

Engauged: Move closer (that's all the notes I took on that)

There are three responses:  Fight, flight, freeze, (or fawn)

??  I'm fighting against my brain, there is a kindness to freezing instead of fighting,

??Move toward just kindness???

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